Utrum Pater natalis sit
AD ALTERUM sic proceditur:
Videtur quod Pater natalis non sit.
1. Dona natalia nobis
donari possunt ab homuncionibus bonis. Ergo Pater natalis non est.
2. Praeterea, si esset
Pater natalis, non essent camini angustiores eo. Camini autem angustiores
eo sunt, et aliquando haudquaquam sunt camini. Ergo Pater natalis non
est.
SED CONTRA est quod dixit Kay Starr:
Vidi mammam osculari Patrem natalem subter visco nocte proxima.
RESPONSIO: Dicendum est quod
Patrem natalem esse quinque viis probari potest.
Prima autem et manifestior
via est quae sumitur ex parte arborum natalium. Certum est enim et sensu
constat aliquae in mundo esse arbores natales. Nulla autem abies fit
arbor natalis nisi quod sit ornata. Esse ornatum autem significat
recipere ornamenta ab alio. Sed hoc non est procedere in infinitum in
recipienda ornamenta arborum natalium, necesse est devenire ad aliquod
primum ornatorem non ornatum, et hoc omnes intelligent Patrem natalem.
Secunda via est ex ratione
donarum natalium. Invenimus in hoc mundo dona natalium danda et
data. Qui autem dat dona sive ea recepit ab alio sive ea fecit in sua
officina. Nisi quis fecisset dona in sua officina, dona danda aut data
non essent; ergo, necesse est ponere aliquem primum datorem donarum, quem omnes
Patrem natalem nominant.
Tertia via est sumpta est
ex simulacris materiae plasticae similibus Patri natali. Apud omnes
venditores videmus res materiae plasticae quae repraesentant Patrem
natalem. Qualia autem hunc repraesentant sive secundum Patrem natalem
ipsum sive secundum alia simulacra Patris natalis. Non est autem
possibile quod procedatur in infinitum in simulacris, ergo necesse est ponere
aliquid quod est simile Patri natali quia Pater natalis est.
Quarta via sumitur ex gradibus qui in spiritibus natalibus inveniuntur.
Inveniuntur enim in hoc mundo homines spirituum magis aut minus natalium.
Sed ``magis'' et ``minus'' dicitur de diversis secundum quod appropinquant
diversimode ad aliquid quod ``maxime'' est. Ergo necesse est aliquis qui
habet spiritum natalissimum, et hunc dicimus Patrem natalem.
Quinta via sumitur ex
moribus infantium. Quando venit dies Christi nativitatis, videmus, ab
essendo bono semper aut frequentius, quod infantes, qui cognitione carent,
operantur propter finem. Sed infantes non essent boni propter Christi
nativitatem nisi quis esset qui confirmat ut sint boni. Et hic aliquis
intellegitur ab omnibus esse Patrem natalem.
1. Ad primum ergo
dicendum est quod homunciones boni, cum receperint dona ab alio, debent
nominari melius adjutores Patris natalis.
2. Ad secundum dicendum est quod non est impossibile quod Pater natalis utitur porta sicut quisque alius.
WHETHER THERE IS A SANTA
CLAUS
AND SO we proceed to the next article: It seems that Santa Claus does not exist.
1. Objection one: Christmas gifts might be given to us by the good elves. Therefore Santa Claus does not exist.
2. Furthermore: If Santa Claus existed there would be no chimney too narrow for him. There are, however, chimneys too narrow for him, and sometimes there are no chimneys at all.
Therefore Santa Claus does not exist.
BUT TO THE CONTRARY is what Kay Starr says: I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, underneath the mistletoe last night.
I RESPOND that the existence of Santa Claus can be proved in five ways.
The first and most manifest way is that taken from the existence of Christmas trees. For it is certain and evident to the senses that some things in this world are Christmas trees. Now no fir becomes a Christmas tree unless it has been trimmed. To be trimmed means to have received ornaments from another. But we cannot proceed to infinity in the reception of Christmas-tree ornaments, so it is necessary at some point to reach an untrimmed trimmer, and this one all understand to be Santa Claus.
The second way is from Christmas gifts. We find in this world the giving and receiving of Christmas gifts. Now the one who gives Christmas gifts must get them from another or make them in his workshop. For if no one made Christmas gifts in his workshop, there would be no Christmas gifts to give or to receive. Therefore it is necessary to posit a first giver of Christmas gifts, whom all call Santa Claus.
The third way is taken from the existence of plastic Santas. In department stores we find certain plastic objects which represent Santa Claus. Such things, however, either represent Santa himself or some other image of Santa. So, since it is impossible to proceed to infinity in such images, it is necessary to posit someone who resembles Santa Claus because he is Santa Claus.
The fourth way is taken from the various degrees of Christmas Spirit. In this world we find some people with more and some with less Christmas Spirit. But ``more'' and ``less'' are said of things only in so much as those things approach a “most.” Therefore it is necessary that there be someone who has the most Christmas Spirit, and this one we call Santa Claus.
The fifth way is taken from the actions of children. When Christmas is approaching we see, from their being good all the time or at least most of the time, that children, who lack reason, begin to act for an end. But such children could not be good on account of Christmas unless there were someone to keep them good, and this one is understood by all to be Santa Claus.
REPLY TO OBJECTION ONE: The good elves, since they receive their gifts from another, should be called at most ``Santa's Helpers.''
REPLY TO OBJECTION TWO: It is completely possible that Santa Claus enters by the door like everyone else.